The secrets out

“What are your goals?” she said, “What is your plan… what do you want?”

It wasn’t what she said or even how she said it. It was her eyes. She said it all with her eyes. Hollow and dark, desperation was lurked deep within them. They were pleading, “Please!! Please, tell me there is an end in sight. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be strong… how much longer I can pretend to not be disgusted by your listlessness.”

“I don’t know?” I replied reluctantly, honestly, “I don’t have a plan… I don’t know what I want.”

Those eyes… those bright, beautiful blue eyes. They were still blue but no longer bright. They had gone cold, dulled by hopelessness. No longer did they speak of frivolous desperation caused by an uncertain future. Now they cried out with complete and utter despair. For a brief moment she had seen, in the eyes of the one she considered to be the strong one, something unmistakable.

My eyes, they had betrayed me. Although not loudly, but subtly, in a hushed whisper, she had still understood. In the eyes of her strength, the one she had always known to be fearless, she had found something that she thought impossible…

** F E A R **

Goals… plans… these are foreign concepts to me. I don’t know what I want or even where to begin discovering it!

Never have.

My eyes, they had betrayed me, but they had not lied.

#1

She has mad texting skills…

just look at that concentration and balance!

She’s quite possibly the BEST big sister EVER

well, almost always.

And she has a **H U G E** heart overflowing with love…

that never seems to run out.

Today she’s *gasp*… 17.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY #1!!!!!

P.S. Remember, next year you can be tried as an adult. =)

Catching up with #1

She finally decided to be like her hip, young, cool parents and get herself a blog. I don’t know when she’ll update with school work, sports, social life, and scrubbing dishes always pressing. But I’m sure she can handle it as effortlessly as she does everything else.

Go check it out and give her some comment love.

Did I mention how smart (highest GPA in her class), athletic (volleyball, basketball, and track), sweet (the greatest of these is love) and pretty (just look at the picture) she is? If you’d like to know, ask. I’d love to tell ya!

P.S. She’s an excellent dish washer…she loves it!

C’s Post

Me and R dyed easter eggs tonight. Then we got bored and decided that we should share them w/ the blog world. Since I’m not cool enough to have my own blog (I haven’t thought of a cool name yet) I just decided to put it on good ole’ dads.

easter eggs - cass and riley

We bought cool tye – dye stuff to color the eggs (R wanted it, mom would NEVER buy it for me when i was little!)

eggs

Dad was mad b/c he didn’t get to do his famous “eye ball egg”

easter-eggs-017.jpg

This one was my favorite egg..

And you can see my reflection in the counter – thats pretty cool.

easter-eggs-020.jpg

This is my favorite picture, and most of our oh-so-amazing easter eggs
haha… check out R’s face 🙂

But I’m done w/ my blogging for the night…

HAPPY EASTER!!!!
Love C 🙂

I wasn’t involved!!

Her mom put her up to THIS! And to think, I felt bad about the golf cart incident.

HELP!!!

When she was about 4, at a wedding rehearsal dinner, we found her dancing the night away…..on a pole. That is, when she wasn’t dancing on the table. That was my first hint that this one was going to be different.

Recently, she has rediscovered the joy of performing in front of others. Thankfully it’s school dramas now…. not on poles.

Don’t forget the scorn of every father….BOYS. They seem magnetically drawn to her…..already….in 4th grade. The worst part, she’s just as comfortable as can be around them. *NOTE TO SELF* Buy more guns!

She comes in today and shows me this self applied temporary tat. Oh yeah, she has a tattoo thing going too!LA Bound

It says, “be a FRIEND to WILDLIFE!”

I think I’ve got a future tree-hugging diva living in my house. Keeping her off the west coast….miracles do happen,right…..you believe that…..don’t you?

Oh, laugh it up now, but in 3 years, she’ll be a teenager…..no one’s safe….not even you!!!

**Gasp** I just realized….those boys….teenagers in 3 years!

Hormonally whacked out teenage boys + way too comfortable around boys, daughter = …..I gotta go…things to do!!

*NOTE TO SELF* Buy LOTS of guns and remove EVERY pole in a 50 mile radius!!

And the award goes to….

Me!

I didn’t have time to prepare my speech, so I’ll just have to let my actions speak for themselves –

I thought her screams were uncontainable joy bubbling up and escaping because of the wild ride we were having on the golf cart….swerving through the trees, zooming around the pool, shooting down the ditch….and maybe they were. Right up until the last one, the one she emitted as she went sailing out of the cart as I was doing my trade mark sideways slide…lock the brakes, cut the wheel sharp to the left, and….try to catch your daughter as she goes sailing and wailing out the other side!!

First thought, “don’t run over her!!!”, quickly followed by, “is she ok!?!” and finally, “Wife’s going to kill me!!!”

Don’t worry, she landed in the grass without me running over her and no scrapes or bruises, and I’m still alive….barely!

I may never get her back in the golf cart with me before she graduate high school, though. After the time I threw her mom out it took 6 yrs before she would ride with me again! Huh, you’d think I’d learn. 😀