The secrets out

“What are your goals?” she said, “What is your plan… what do you want?”

It wasn’t what she said or even how she said it. It was her eyes. She said it all with her eyes. Hollow and dark, desperation was lurked deep within them. They were pleading, “Please!! Please, tell me there is an end in sight. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be strong… how much longer I can pretend to not be disgusted by your listlessness.”

“I don’t know?” I replied reluctantly, honestly, “I don’t have a plan… I don’t know what I want.”

Those eyes… those bright, beautiful blue eyes. They were still blue but no longer bright. They had gone cold, dulled by hopelessness. No longer did they speak of frivolous desperation caused by an uncertain future. Now they cried out with complete and utter despair. For a brief moment she had seen, in the eyes of the one she considered to be the strong one, something unmistakable.

My eyes, they had betrayed me. Although not loudly, but subtly, in a hushed whisper, she had still understood. In the eyes of her strength, the one she had always known to be fearless, she had found something that she thought impossible…

** F E A R **

Goals… plans… these are foreign concepts to me. I don’t know what I want or even where to begin discovering it!

Never have.

My eyes, they had betrayed me, but they had not lied.

I wasn’t involved!!

Her mom put her up to THIS! And to think, I felt bad about the golf cart incident.